If you know a smidgen about me, you'd know that state of my room rotates between about 6~30 days of what closely resembles a nuclear aftershock, and about 1 or 2 days of cleanliness when I cannot deal with it anymore and (miraculously) shoves everything in its right places.
I like to think that it resembles my mind state.
Being on the losing side of a battle is not fun. Being on the losing side of a battle against oneself is not only un-fun but very, very painful. It's one thing to bash one's head against a seemingly impossible (but to others ridiculously easy, or so it seems to me) mathematical problem, fail miserably, fling one's supervision questions fluttering down the floor, curl up to oneself and bask in utter misery, but to find yourself suddenly tumbling into self-remorse and depression during a lecture and secretly bow one's head and start crying. If anyone saw me today in Cell's lecture frantically trying to mop off tears from my face, I was mourning for my long-deceased self-confidence. It's nothing, really.
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1 comment:
You write very well.
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